SO THERE< ENNUI

2013-12-14 -- 7:15 p.m.

do you ever just step back, look at yourself, and think: i'm a dick?

i am, though. lately. i'm such a downer. and i don't want to be a downer, i don't want to be stuck in whatever this is, call it ennui. i want to be happy and satisfied with my life, because it's good. it's comfortable. there are so many people around me that love me and just want to include me.

but i feel distant. i don't belong here. everything i see and do is through a screen, a filter. i am foreign. everything's just a bit... off. everyone is still here, but nothing is the same. nothing. no one is who they were when i left.

i am the most comfortable i've ever been in my life. i can afford to live myself in a massive apartment that is all mine. i have a flatscreen tv, and a nice couch. i have a good job at the cbc and a loving boyfriend who is moving across the world just for me. i spent five years living in london and travelling around europe.

but everything is just off.

so, because i am who i am, i've started the gym, career counselling, therapy and I'm taking an improv class. SO THERE< ENNUI



before || after

last five is the shit:
some nights the blood from real cuts feels real nice when it's really mine - 2018-03-20
maybe I don't want to write an informative book about a 90s television show - 2017-03-30
maybe I don't want to write an informative book about a 90s television show - 2017-03-30
greener grass - 2014-11-12
always so tired - 2014-06-09

small
epiphany
email
older
diaryland
gbook
robert
samra
noalarms
andrea
two-faced